When a shopaholic gets sick

It seems weird to be starting my blog with news about sickness however since this morning when I found out, I had wanted to vent out and shout and just cry hysterically instead I walked the corridors of Medical City in Manila looking dazed with unbelief and blinking back tears that I had gotten my results that showed I was on the verge of having diabetes and that there was a cyst on my thyroid glands .I will be having a biopsy tomorrow afternoon to determine if it is something that I can cure with oral medications or ..I don't even want to think about it.Being ignorant till now that I looked it up in the internet, I always thought that when you needed biopsy it means the big C.I am relieved to know that I am wrong about that .It is a test to determine whether you have the big C so..it doesn't mean that you have it yet.Fine needle aspiration biopsy of the thyroid is used to rule out thyroid cancer, make a diagnosis or select therapy for a thyroid nodule, or drain a thyroid cyst..ok i can breathe better with that thought in my mind now .However ..the big deal is my life will never be the same again . I am such a food addict .I am one of those people who live to eat not the other way around.It's a struggle Iv'e had for as long as I can remember.I'm obese class 3 weighing 172 lbs with my 5 inch height.Scary huh? Well let me just defend myself for a bit here .I work in a call center the kind of job where y0u have no physical activity at all .You just sit there and take calls the whole darn day .We stuff ourself with frappucinnos and cappucinnos to keep awake at night.Starbucks is making a big business out of us people I tell you .Eating is our physical activity so most of us ,not all are overweight.My life revolves around food . I cook breakfast and I'm already thinking what I would be having for lunch and dinner.Being a good mom to me means I have to keep my kids well fed so on my way to work I think about what I'll eat at work and on my way home I'll be thinking what we'll eat at home . When we go out to the mall the discussion is about where we are going to eat.Filipinos love to eat but ok ..i overdid it .I'm guilty as charged and now I have to suffer the consequences.Hmm..back to how my life will never be the same again, being on the verge of diabetes my endocrinologist has forbidden me to eat anything sugary and in addition to that I have to cut my food intake to half. If I wanted to live I must , I must, I must (I keep repeating that to myself) follow my doctor .I think that was why I wanted to be hysterical anyway.For us people who are "fat" I would say that food is like an addiction the same way you would be addicted to drugs or the same way that you would be addicted to gambling because you can't help it .You just take in as much as you can without knowing that it's slowly damaging your body .Most people don't understand that it's like a disease you have to live with.Who wants to be fat anyway? hell iv'e never worn a bathing suit not even one piece in my whole entire life! Not to say that iv'e been this fat all my life but I guess I was always hmm...chubby and you know just always drawn to food.I tell you it is a struggle because you know it's not good for you and yet you keep doing it.I keep telling myself all the time that I should lose weight that I need to go on diet but well I do try to lose weight and go on diet but just for a day....and then i forget all about it...when I remember it again well, it's been months and then I start the whole sick cycle again.So now I guess I have to be firm in my resolve . I will keep you guys updated on what's been happening .For you guys out there like me who are food addicts, go to an endocrinologist just to check if everything's fine and at least the doctor can start you on a weight management plan.I guess I'll be giving more advise if I'm able to stick to my weight loss plan. For now I don't have the right at all to tell anybody "hey we all need to go on a diet and stick to it and exercise for our health etc. etc." At this point I am struggling with my emotions (sigh) .I still can't believe I can't touch a banana split with ice cream, brownies,chocolate fudge ice cream etc. etc., much more put it in my mouth ...ok stop thinking about those things...i must , i must follow my doctor (keep repeating it in my mind).I am tempted though to give you guys the prescribed drug my doctor gave me to lose weight it's guaranteed to make you lose weight in a week but I guess that won't be a good idea.What's good for me might not be good for you.